Stagnation Creation Myth

We are all born of this earth and it's light, carbon dirt,
and we're molecules one and the same,
except for trillions of years we've been light before this,
and then particles, but now we have brains.
And the brains are unsatisfied because they're in bodies,
and the bodies have needs and desires,
and they have to be fed, slept and loved on occasion
and they have to be moved once in a while.

I knew this when I was a fifteen year old girl
on my floor on a saturday night
listening to music and writing my poems
and spacing out under white twinkle lights.

I forgot sometime after turned twenty one
and the world got so complex and mad
and my brain wanted out
and my body wanted in
and I couldn't explain the sickness I had.

There were moments
after too much drink late at night,
after my tears fell and
pierced the white mantle of snow

During electrical storms,
during naked sauna sojourns
on top of trees
under tables
sucking face
telling fables
falling off boats
and gripping for fingers in the dark ugly places

There were moments
when I thought I might matter
and my time here
was a place i could go.

Fall in love,
make a memory.
Break it down
trade it for a dream
of something better
something else.
Tell yourself it's what you wanted.
Tell your bartender
tell your friends
call your parents and tell them
lie down amongst the gravestones and tell them

 As I closed the noose on my thirtieth year,
I fought my impulses and whispered I had nothing to fear
that my life was just gaining momentum...

There were blogs to be written
connections to make
hands to shake
bread to bake,
and I could schmooze
tell my jokes and be merry.
I could smile and get by,
I could hold fast and survive
It was enough
that I didn't get buried.

We are all born of this earth and it's light, carbon dirt, 

and we're molecules one and the same,

except for trillions of years we've been light before this, 

and then particles, but now we have brains.

And the brains are unsatisfied because they're in bodies,

and the bodies have needs and desires,

and they have to be fed, slept and loved on occasion

and they have to be moved once in a while.

They have to be moved once in a while.